It's been a week of WTF? both in the media and in my own life. I can't tell you how happy I am that it's almost over! I'll save the gory personal details of hospital visits and 2 attempted suicides (not MINE) and get straight to OTHER people's screwed up lives. ;)
Michael Jackson is still making news after almost a year of being 6 feet under. Of course, everyone out for their 15 minutes that had anything to do with him or his entourage has come forward to get theirs. Now, there's this guy. Jason Pfeiffer, the former assistant to MJ's dermatologist Dr Arnold Klein, has come forward claiming he was the Pop King's boyfriend. "We were very close," Jason reveals in an interview. "I know we loved each other. I know he told me that all the time. I told him that all the time. I believe that he was probably my soul mate."
Jason goes on to describe Michael as a "very intimate kinda guy. Very passionate. Very sensual..." Here's the kicker on this one...Dr. Klein claims to have walked in on them shirtless and halfway in the act! He backs up his assistant's story and says he feels they were very in love. WTF? This just gets weirder and weirder. I can't wait for the next installment.
Chelsea Handler made a sex tape. Yup. You heard me. Chelsea Handler made a sex tape. Now, I haven't see it (yet) but I hope to GOD Chuy isn't in it. Here's the kicker. She claims the whole thing was a joke. WTF? Chelsea Handler? Really? I mean, let's think about this. You're not the hottest or youngest lady on the strip. So, you need to do everything to keep your career going. I get that. So, you release a sex tape because we all know right or wrong sex with further your career and boost your ratings...even if just for a while. You really had the right idea.....until you clained it was all a JOKE! WTF? I totally wanted to check this out which would have led to me tuning into your show on E! just to see what (if anything) was said but now that I know it's a joke I could care less! You got this one backwards honey. Take a lesson from Pam, Paris, Kim, etc. Check out RadarOnline.com if you want the details. They say it is a mix of stand up and sex and that the tape was sent to agents as a demo to book comedy gigs. That's kind of funny to me. LOL. What's the thought process? I'll do some of my routine and if it sucks it won't matter because the next shot is money. They'll be so turned on of course they'll call me! Hahahah. WTF?, Chelsea.
Ok, speaking of sex tapes...hahaha. Jenna Jameson accused hubby Tito Ortiz of domestic violence this week. We've all seen the pics on TMZ and read the charges. But now Jenna says she can prove Tito Ortiz was lying when he accused her of being high on OxyContin during their fight Monday that left her with torn ligaments in her shoulder. On the day of the incident, Tito's attorney said, "Jenna has been fighting a battle with OxyContin addiction for the past year. For Tito and her family this has been an uphill battle. Unfortunately this morning she had a relapse. Tito was trying to help her. She has threatened suicide before. Tito has done everything in his power to protect her privacy and the privacy of their children." Well, that's great lawyer speak but the elephant in the room is the fact that Jenna countered by allowing herself to be tested for 10 major drugs the very next day. She came back clean as a whistle. Hmmm. WTF? Tito. Sounds like you just lost your temper, gave her a smack, and then tried to cover your ass with the she was high on drugs and I was trying to calm her excuse. Hey dude, even if you were telling the truth you don't use enough force to tear ligaments when you're calming somebody down. You're big. She's tiny. Get it? A fews days to cool down and now Jenna is stating that what actually happened "has now been dramatically distorted and misinterpreted". AH...so we were mad and said some smack and now we've had time to cool off so you blame your public for "misinterpreting" your claims. I see. Thanks for clearing that up, Jenna. WTF? Can we just get our stories straight?
Where the HELL is ParentBook? Seriously. The day that parents started getting on Facebook is the day all the rest of us should have gotten off. It's a lose lose situation. I mean, first of all it was created for STUDENTS IN COLLEGE. Oh goody! Finally we have a social network for ppl our age. It's OURS. Folks like me and my friends all migrated from Myspace over to Facebook in large part due to the fact that any old body could sign up on Myspace but Facebook was specifically for us. The social network for young folks typically in the same spot in life. College, dating, bar hopping, graduating, first jobs, first marriages...OURS. Then, they made the ridiculous mistake to open it up to ANYONE. Our haven had just been taken away. SIGH.
WTF? Facebook.
I think you know where I'm going with this. Opening it up to All takers just complicates things. Now we have to worry about the same shit we worried about on Myspace. Elementary kids can sign up. That is retarded. Now all the sexual predators can check out 2 fun sites. WTF?
Bosses, coworkers, your preacher...ENOUGH! It's so awkward to have to "Ignore" that friend request from the D-Bag in the next cubicle. He's just waiting for that confirmation that you know will never come. Sad. You don't want work people tracking your every move...TRUST ME. If you don't agree then just wait for the day you play hooky and forget about all your coworkers that are on FB. Unless you can convince them you had a sore throat and a horrible fever the whole time you were at the lake you're screwed!
Then...there's parents. Aye Aye Aye! I got a request from both of mine and that is a terrible place to be. My life is not an open book in that regard. So what's a girl to do? Well, she accepts it and censors herself as long as possible but the reality is the facade can't last forever. So, you get relaxed and then post something about being out until 5 am partying then suddenly mom is commenting that you're an alcoholic. Or, your page is monitored for new guys leaving comments...why so many? Who is that? Are you living with someone? Oh and the worst is when they friend YOUR friends. There's a reason I don't hang out with YOUR friends...same applies here. Bottom line: for me FB is no different than hanging out in my living room or at the bar with all my friends. I don't do that with my parents..and you don't either. There are certain aspects of life none of us want to share with our folks and if they think back far enough they will remember that feeling. I'm sure my bf doesn't want her mom to know she's had at least 3 one night stands and enjoys a good drunk crawl in her neighborhood from time to time. But one day somebody will mess up and post a comment not even thinking that her mom and dad look at her page and BOOM....DRAMA! So what's the cure? ParentBook. Yup. Give us our bar back...and find your own. Go post pics of grandchilren, pets, vacations you can afford, news links to whatever you're watching on Larry King, who won the Little League game that week...whatever. As for the kids we're starting to see...same deal. How about SchoolBook? I don't want to log in and wonder if the friend request in my inbox is from a 15 yr old. I'm sure all my guy friends feel the same. Look, we just want our Cheers to remain ours. Don't get me wrong, we all love Mom and Dad...and our little bros/sisters. We still want to see Mom and Dad. We owe them a great deal. But being watched constantly at 30 is just not healthy...or fun for us. ParentBook is a great idea.
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