Wowsers! WTF?

WTF? America? Really? Seriously? This is a cosmic joke, right? Larry Stanley told me that Tiger Woods would return to golf amidst roars of cheers and loud clapping. I disagreed. He said Tiger would return to the course and play his best game ever. He told me fans would be there in force and he would play like a champ all the while erasing the public's memory of his recent sexual odyssey. No way in HELL I argued. 18+ women and Elin looking sad on the cover of every tabloid in America? No. This just wouldn't happen. I thought for sure he would tuck himself away for the next year and let some other sex scandal story pop up and take his thunder. I thought he would do his little rehab stint, let Elin take what she wanted and get out, and lay low. Maybe next year we'd see him on the course. Yes, this is what would happen. Surely he has excellent PR people telling him the same thing? You have to be out of the public eye for a while before you can make a comeback. Right? Well, I was wrong. I'm so glad I didn't put money on my opinion and bet against the gambler. He usually wins and he called this one again. Wow, America. I thought golf was the boring family sport. You know...the sport reserved for dads to share with sons while they have lessons on ethics and family values in between holes. The sport that the old rich white dudes played while their caddies held their scotch and cigars. Apparently I was wrong about that, too! I guess I should take a look at golf in 2010 instead of what's in my mind...which is apprently 1910. Ha.

Tiger rolled out to Augusta and was received by the loud banging of hands clapping, screams of encouragement, cheers, and laughter. He played a great game and with the exception of a few funny banners seen overhead; he was warmly welcomed back to the fold. Wow. What a short memory you have, American public. I am a little shocked. Not that I judge or really even care to be honest. I just think that those of you who do care (you'll remember I don't care about much if you read last week's blog) would take a stand. I would have liked to see some sort of protest! For entertainment value if nothing else! He is a sexual deviant by some standards and has made a total ass out of himself and his family. He's ruined at least 18 lives not counting his own and Elin's. He has hurt his mom and used his father's voice (shameless) for some sort of pathetic comeback Nike ad that screams have sympathy for me...I'm wounded and need forgiveness...WTF? You, sir, are a douchebag of the highest order. I hope those stories of you being tied up to a tree and beaten as a 1st grader are true because at least it's a good excuse as to why you're so screwed up as an adult.

And nobody at the Master's seems to care! Nope. We just cheer and watch him swing that golf club and by doing so we slowly allow him the long climb back up that pedastal he is so used to perching on. WOW. WTF?

Enough about Tiger. I'm just getting pissed.

WTF? I have to empty out my purse and desk now. Why? Because now the FDA is telling me that all the bottles of hand sanitizer are bad for me and are jacking with my hormones. Ha..hey maybe that's what happened to Tiger! He must have bathed in these hormone altering cleansers.
So you think you're doing the world a favor by slapping a quick dab of GermX or Bath and Body Works sanitizer between the 'ol palms a few times a day. You feel good about killing flu germs and cold viruses. It's a great feeling to smell the ethyl alcohol wafting from your hands after you touch that public restroom door or the buttons on your office elevator that you know the fat chick that smells like Whataburger on 38 just pushed. You are a winner in the fight against uncleanliness. Until today. Today you're a sucker because CNN just reported that all those strides we were making towards a cleaner world are just making us sicker. The reason is two fold. A.) the chemicals used in manufacturing these products appear to elevate hormone levels which cause all kinds of unnatural chemical reactions in the body. B.) Germs are smart. All we're really doing is causing them to evolve and resist our attempts to kill them off. They get stronger and we get sicker. Then what happens? We buy more sanitizers. Great. Thanks, SC Johnson and Proctor and Gamble. WTF?


And now the kicker. I hate reality tv. I detest it. It is stupid. If I want that much drama in life I'll just pull some overtime with these crazy asses. No. Give me a well written sitcom with a PLOT. I'm done.

Until Last Night. GASP!

I have discovered Kirstie Alley's Big Life on A&E. I have discovered it and it is amazing. I am hooked! I can't figure this one out but I love it! Maybe it's the fascination of seeing the once beautiful and thin "Rebecca Howell" from Cheers be FAT and also be open and honest about it. Maybe it's the fascination of how well she lives...off of Cheers (?) money. Either way I absolutely love it. It's almost like she's still relevant when you watch it. She's funny, smart, witty, goofy, and REAL. Well, here's what A&E have to say about it:

"Kirstie Alley has emerged as one of the great actresses of her generation, proving time and again that she is capable of great depth and range, with a comedic timing second to none. Alley is currently shooting “Kirstie Alley’s Big Life,” a docu-series for A&E, which chronicles the many aspects of her extraordinary life, from her battle with weight loss to her role as a single mother trying to raise two normal teenagers."

http://www.aetv.com/kirstie-alleys-big-life/

Well, I don't know about all that...great actress of her generation...hmmm...


BUT, I do know that I, Stephanie Quinn, is hooked on a reality tv show. GASP (again). Remember, I HATE this genre so WTF?