Thursday, November 5, 2009

Big Bad Steph's Movie and E News

Big Bad Steph has been...well...BAD lately. No, not what you're thinking. ;) Bad in NOT BLOGGING! But, that is going to change. Yes, it's not even January and I'm already proclaiming change! We'll see how long this lasts....

For starters my blog is going to change a bit. It's not just going to be movies anymore. Many of you who read our blogs know that each of us are associated with Bigbadsportsdaddy.com in more than one way. I cohost The Larry Stanley Show each week and bring to listeners a bit o ENews in my E segment. So, why not share here what I cover there? And if you listen, which you SHOULD, you can leave some feedback on the stories you hear each week right here. Comment Comment Comment. Just remember..I have feelings, too! ;)

So, what's happening this week in the world of the rich, famous, over sexed, moral-less, ridiculousness we call Hollywood? Well....

James Franco (Spider Man, Milk, Pineapple Express) is joining the cast of General Hospital for a month long guest star sting. He first airs on November 20th as an addition to the evil Cassadine Family. I'm sorry..I gotta wonder. What are you doing, Franco? It's a soap. The genre is dying! You've done movies...OSCAR nominated movies! Are you just bored, stoned, or trying to score some hot soap tail. I'm confused. But it worked. I'm so gonna watch...

Jon Gosselin is a huge D-bag.

Josh Duhamel (Las Vegas, Transformers, Crossing Jordan) is being accused of cheating on his wife of less than a year, Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas. Apparently a stripper from Atlanta claimes she has texts from Duhamel to back up her story and she even took a lie detector test for credibility! That's going the extra mile, honey. Of course, I have to wonder who administered this supposed lie detector test. The club manager? If this story turns out to be true, Duhamel will be joining the ranks of Hollywood Skeeves like Hugh Grant. Paying for sex is the most pathetic thing. Especially when you're as hot as Duhamel. Here's a hint: You don't have to pay for sex. You are a celebrity. It should just come to you (no pun intended).

Jon Gosselin is a huge D-bag.

Nic Cage (National Treasure, Gone in 60 Seconds, Face Off...and a whole bunch of bad ones, too) is B-R-O-K-E! The actor claims he was lead astray by a naughty financial adviser, Samuel Levin, who in a lawsuit filed Oct. 16 in Los Angeles, "lined his pockets with several million dollars in business management fees while sending Cage down a path toward financial ruin." Cage reportedly owes $6.3 million to our friends at the IRS in back taxes. Now, wait a minute. you make anywhere from $20-$40 mil a picture and somehow you find yourself broke?! I think this is more than just a greedy Jew. This is you, Mr. Cage, being an idiot and buying multi-million dollar properties (four in the states along) and 2 effing islands. 2! Good luck with your lawsuits. You're going to need it.

Jon Gosselin is still a huge D-bag.

And Finally, Rhianna is speaking out this week via Good Morning America and 20/20 (ABC) regarding the abusive relationship between her and pop star Chris Brown. In an interview airing November 6th on 20/20 10:00/9:00 central on ABC. Early clips from the interview have been shown on Good Morning America and are scheduled for one more round tomorrow morning. Rhianna tells softy Diane Sawyer, "When I realized that my selfish decision for love could result in some young girl getting killed, I could not be easy with that part," she says. "I couldn't be responsible for that. Even if Chris never hit me again, who's to say their boyfriend won't? Who's to say they won't kill these girls? I didn't realize how much of an impact I had on these girls' lives until that happened."

Chris Brown strikes back by opening up in his own hour long exclusive interview on Mtv. Chris answers questions from Mtv's Sway on his childhood, his anger impulses, his interview with Larry King on CNN, and whether or not he is still in love with the pop starlet.
Chris Brown: The Interview' is due to air on MTV Friday, November 6 at 6pm ET/PT.
Who do you think will get more ratings? My money is on Rhianna...not becuase I care. I just like Daine Sawyer.

There's the news of the week so far. Be sure to check out the LSS to hear Larry's perspective on all this BS. Until then, I leave you with one final thought.

Jon Gosselin is a huge D-bag.

Monday, October 5, 2009

District 9

In 1938 Orson Welles scared the daylights out of radio listeners with War of the Worlds. A decade later movie goers were enthralled by movies such as The Thing From Another World, Robot Monster, Invaders from Mars, and It Came from Outer Space. Visits from space creatures continue to be a theme in Sci-Fi movies. Some creatures scare us and some (E.T.) connect us. The one question that always remains the same by audiences is simply: Why are they here and what will they do to us? District 9 is a little different. It's the first movie (that I can remember) that begs the question: What will WE do to them?

Directed by South African filmster Neill Blomkamp, District 9 begins as a news documentary with mock interviews and shaky "live" footage from inside an alien camp called (drum roll please) District 9. The interviews with top government officials and townspeople reveal to the audience that back in the 1980s a spacecraft stalled in the sky above Johannesburg. The passengers of the craft were of an alien race who had somehow become lost in their travels. They are sick, disoriented, starving, and in need of our help. Unlike the normal "alien" Sci-fi, these creatures are not here to harm...but stuck and in need of the human race's compassion and assistance. We answer the call and rescue the hundreds of hungry and lost creatures. Well...so it seemed.

The aliens, called Prawns due to their crustacean-like appearance, are placed in a refugee camp in a district outside of the city limits of Johannesburg. Here they are stored and separated from human civilization. Over the next 20 years the settlement becomes a deplorable shantytown as they are neglected, misunderstood, feared, and hated by the human race just outside their barbed wire enclosure. It's sad how fast we....this superior race as we like to see ourselves will turn on that which is misunderstood and ugly.

As it progresses, District 9 uncovers a horrific program of medical experimentation fueled by a a corrupt government and corporate greed. A company called M.N.U. (Multi-National United) has taken control of the district and means to move the aliens to a more remote area of South Africa presumably to conduct more gruesome experiments on our wayward friends. Through the M.N.U. we meet our main character. A hapless, weak, often ridiculed employee named Wikus van der Merwe (Sharlto Copley).

Wikus is put in charge of a team that is sent into the district to evict the alien occupants and inform them of their upcoming move thanks to the M.N.U. He is arrogant, mean, and brutal when dealing with the helpless creatures who don't fully understand the language their captors speak. You instantly dislike this little Wikus Weasel and fully expect that the movie will lead in a direction that you get to see him "get his". However, it twists. While evicting our lead Alien character named Christopher Johnson (how very human..lol) a terrible accident befalls Wikus. From there the film takes us in an unexpected direction. District 9 shifts from an alien sci-fi film to a zombie feel and then AGAIN into an action packed alien/human buddy escape movie.

There are openings for a sequel but in this girl's opinion it would be a weak one. Most of the punches are here and they didn't leave much to cover for another go 'round. District 9's story will open your eyes and draw you in even if the fake news footage shot in shaky documentary style gives you a bit of a headache. District 9 is not out of this world but it's worth a see when it releases on DVD in the next months (yeah I know...I haven't actually blogged in weeks. I work a full time too, ya know). It's not your normal Sci-Fi flick and it's produced by Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings) so it's not a let down by any means.

RATING: R
CAST: Sharlto Copley ,David James , Jason Cope, Vanessa Haywood, and Louis Minnaar

Monday, August 24, 2009

Glourious Inglourious Basterds

We all remember sitting in History class at some point learning about World War II. Most of us yawned and asked questions like, "Who cares?", and "Why do we have to know this at 7:30 in the morning?" But we made it through with knowledge of how World War II came to pass. And we all know, surely, how Hitler died and subsequently how The War was ended. OR DO WE.....

Quentin Tarantino's reimagining of Nazi occupied France during World War II in Inglourious Basterds is by far the best in recent years. It is also, by far, furthest from the truths that history has taught us. But it is wildly entertaining. Basterds is laced with satire, violence, humor, gore, and impecable dialogue a la Tarantino. Yes, he's a great director but he's a writer first and foremost. His talent for character creation and interaction through the spoken word leaps at you in every scene. And the cast chosen to relay his pen was simply put...perfect. Basterds is a summer must see. It's Kill Bill meets World War II. It's the greatness and weirdness of Pulp Fiction meets Adolph Hitler. It's fantastic!

Basterds begins with a punch to the heart as you meet a seemingly unassuming French farmer named LaPadite. It is here that we meet Col. Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz) known to the masses as "The Jew Hunter." Landa is a German officer who fancies himself a world class detective sent by the Furher himself to hunt down and kill or capture every last Jew in France. He arrives at LaPadite's farm on rumors that he is hiding a family of Jews under his home. Waltz masters this character with impecable timing and a larger than life sadistic portrayal that comes off at times cruel but mostly over the top and humorous in the most twisted yet delightful way. Waltz won the Best Actor award at Cannes and should be a shoe in for a Best Supporting Oscar nod. Quite frankly he is the glue that holds the storylines of all of the characters together. You know Tarantino...the stories all may be different but there is always a central theme or character that intersplices them all. In Basterds it is most certainly Christoph Waltz. This glue is what brings us back to LaPadite's farm. Huddled under the wood floors of his meager cabin hides the family of little Shosanna. Col. Landa's boots slam loudly on the floor above as the family awaits their impending murder. Curiously, Waltz interrogates LaPadite with an eery air of politeness and a very sadistic dash of friendly. But you know he's a killer...The Jew Hunter will not show compassion. Which brings us to Shosanna.

Under a hail of gunfire ripping through the wooden planks of LaPadite's floor, little Shosanna finds her way out and covered in mud and blood makes her way to the safety of the nearby forrest. All the while our Col. is watching, laughing, and yelling at her to run faster. He smiles as he points his gun at her and you think it's over...but Tarantino has other plans. The Jew Hunter lets this one live; only to run into her as an adult. Again...it's the glue that Waltz seems to possess throughout the film.

We next meet the film's namesake...the Inglourious Basterds themselves lead by our favorite underrated actor, Brad Pitt.

Pitt brings the goods and the laughs as Lt. Aldo Raine, a straight shootin' southern boy who leads an elite squad that come to be known by the Nazis as simply the Basterds. Just as Waltz carries the nickname "Jew Hunter", Pitt's men have aliases just as worthy; "Jew Bear" being one of them. Most of his men have been wronged by Hitler or at the very least have Jewish roots and have become very good at exacting their revenge. There are no hostages in this group...they live to kill. Pitt dives into his character just as he does in every film he appears in. His good ol boy accent is downright hilarious and extremely out of place in Nazi occupied France. But this only serves to make him even more likable. It doesn't matter that he's scalping Nazis...he sounds hilarious while doing so. The audience is guaranteed a laugh every time he speaks. It seems Pitt along with Tarantino's writing have found a way to make WWII funny somehow.

From here the film involves a plot to kill all the highest ranking Nazi officials while they are in a movie theater watching the premiere of the latest propaganda film Nation’s Pride. The plan is simple: two Basterds and a British undercover agent will infiltrate the event with double agent and actress Bridget von Hammersmark skillfully played by Diane Kruger. The party's top officials will be there and Adolph Hitler himself is expected to show. Who owns the theatre? You got it...little Shosanna all grown up. Of course, now she has a new name and new identity to go with it. And she is seething with revenge. How fitting that the star of the propaganda picture falls in love with her instantly and how wonderful to feel the hatred and tension emminating from her when confronted with this soldier turned star, Fredrick Zoller (Daniel Bruhl). And even better? The glue of Christoph Waltz returns as Col. Hans is selected as head security detail of the movie's premier in little Shosanna's cinema. Tarantino weaves the perfect web of emotional close up shots and dialogue when these characters come together. Here, Tarantino and his cast make you question history. Will he REALLY lock Hitler in a theatre along with all of the top Nazi players and burn the place down killing every last one of them? Will Shosanna get her revenge? Will he really laugh in the face of history? Well, it's Tarantino which makes every question nothing but rhetorical.

When Quentin Tarantino makes a movie you can expect a few standard "Tarantinoesque" things. One thing you're sure to get is over the top gorey violence. This film is definitely no exception. Whether it is the Basterds scalping Nazis or the brutal fights where anyone, anytime can die, the violence and the trademark ill-fitting music is there. You also get the trademark "Chapters" that seem to mark each scene with a different title. The comic book-esque fonts, weird Kill Bill soundtrack that does everything except fit the time period and place, and fight scenes that are so over the top it's almost ridiculous all drip of Tarantino and all serve to make Basterds #1 at the box office so far.

The cool factor is all around. Tarantino took his style and paired it with some really tight acting. Most of the cast, including the lovely Ms. Kruger, is German. The language and accents coupled with the crisp SS uniforms bring an immense amount of realism to each scene they appear in. Needless to say Tarantino has a way of introducing an outlandish idea with just enough realism to make the audience buy it.


Tarantino's version of history is, in my opinion, much better than what really happened. ;) The cast is solid, the cinematography is classic, the dialogue is both important and fun but perhaps the BEST part of the film is the idea that this scenario COULD HAVE actually happened. For my money I'd say Inglorious Basterds is one of the best films of the summer. It's a must see no matter what your position is on World War II or Tarantino. To take from Mr. Pitt..."Sounds Good!"


Cast: Brad Pitt, Melanie Laurent, Eli Roth, Christoph Waltz, Diane Kruger, Daniel Bruhl, Michael Fassbender, Gedeon Burkhard, Til Schwieger, Jacky Ido, Sylvester Groth, Martin Wuttke, Mike Myers

Rating: R

Monday, July 20, 2009

Public Enemies

"Die like you live: all of a sudden." This line was spoken by Clark Gable in the 1934 film Manhattan Melodrama. I find it fitting that director Michael Mann (Heat, The Insider, Miami Vice, Collateral) uses this scene in Melodrama in a scene of his own in his latest creation Public Enemies. Why do I find it fitting? Not only is it poetic to see two of my favorite actors from two different eras somehow on the same screen; but it was a wonderful way to see Johnny Depp's John Dillinger connect with a character as large as his own. It was if Dillinger was looking into a mirror and with the side smirk Depp is famous for, Dillinger conveys to the audience that he knows his days are just as numbered as the character he's watching.



Public Enemies opens with an edge of your seat jailbreak that screams arrogance on Dillinger's part. The cast of criminals makes it look all too easy and the scene is the perfect setting for the soundtrack to grab you and make it's presence known. Scored by Elliot Goldenthal (Frida, Batman and Robin, Heat, and The Good Thief) the music of this film does a fantastic job of putting exclamation points at just the right times in each scene. It lends its voice to the era in which the film reflects. Many times you not only see the 1930s (through wonderful costuming and set efforts) you hear and feel it through the melodies Goldenthal projects.



The story of John Dillinger's life revolves around his hiests, his criminal family (Baby Face Nelson, Pretty Boy Floyd, and others) his woman Billie; touchingly portrayed by Oscar winner Marion Cotillard, and his nemisis at the FBI Melvin Purvis (Christian Bale). Dillinger and his band of ganster brothers tear across the country in a series of bank heists. Each job promising to be bigger and better. Each job putting Dillinger higher up on the Wanted list. J. Edgar Hoover (Billy Crudup) is frantically putting together a new force with the ultimate goal of ridding his cities of Dillinger, who will later become known as Public Enemy #1. The force? The F.B.I.

This is where Christian Bale introduces the audience to Agent Melvin Purvis. Bale's performace drew me in to the character of Purvis but sadly the character development was lacking. We never know the backstory of Purvis. Mann could have created a deeper connection between the audience and Purvis if he had given us even a glimpse into his past or a look at his true motives behind catching Dillinger. Bale had a real opportunity to shine but was not given the chance with this role. The same can be said of Crudup's role as J. Edgar Hoover. The acting was there but the character development was not.

Depp does not disappoint with his interpretion of Dillinger. He delivers his smug arrogance in classic Depp style. In one scene Depp strolls his Dillinger into the Chicago Police Department's Dillinger Investigation Unit. His enemies sitting blankly at their desks concentrating on paperwork, Dillinger boldly walks up and down the hall viewing police photos of his fallen comrades; pausing at each photo. At one point he asks the score of a baseball game on the radio. Never looking up to see who is questioning, the cops stupidly reply with the score. Dillinger smirks in classic Depp style and walks out.

Perhaps the shining performance of this film is that of Marion Cotillard. Her portrayal of Billie Freshette, our bad boy Dillinger's love interest, is captivating. Yes, the film is naturally all about Depp as Dillinger, but Cotillard's performance brings an element of grace and beauty to Depp's cold criminal aura. Her performance draws out the human side of Dillinger and creates a connection with the audience in which you can't help but want Dillinger to escape the law at each turn. Cotillard shines brightest in her gritty performance midway through the film when Billie is arrested and charged with helping Dillinger stay one step ahead of the law. She is beaten over and over in a brutal interrogation, even pissing herself at one point, but never gives up her love. Cotillard is committed to the character here and her performance holds you breathless throughout.

The cinematography of this film struck me immediately. Not only does the excellent costuming, set effects, prop pieces ( I loved the gangster Tommy Guns and cars) take you back to Depression Era America; the sweeping camera shots do their part to connect the audience to the time period this film travels through. Mann cleverly used the art of backlighting and crane/traveling shots in many scenes along with tight close ups of Depp and Cotillard a la Film Noir. These techniques help transport the audience back in time in such a powerful yet subtle way.

Public Enemies is NOT The Godfather but it is a great summer flick worth seeing. All the elements are there. Gangsters you secretly root for, lawmen you are conflicted about, guns blazing, a story line rooted in history, and a hint of love. If you know history you know how Public Enemies ends but it was still exciting to see Mann take Dillinger to his demise. And very fitting to see Clark Gable meet his demise just moments before Dillinger leaves the theatre to meet his own.


CAST: Johnny Depp , Christian Bale, Marion Cotillard, Giovanni Ribisi, Stephen Dorff , Jason Clarke, David Wenham, Channing Tatum, and Billy Crudup



Rating: R

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Buno or Bru-NO?

Let me tell you...I seriously can't decide! Did I like this or not? Hmmmm. It's my fault really. I still hold Sacha Baron Cohen's Borat to be the funniest film I've seen in recent history. Not only do I own it...I STILL laugh at it every time I see it! For my money Borat was sheer genius, fresh, and absolutely hilarious. Hands down. So, I expected the same from Cohen's third (Ali G being his first) caricature. I have to admit I was a little bit disappointed. But, as I said it may be my fault. Not everything will be as brilliant as the great Borat.

Now, I go on record as being disappointed. BUT that doesn't mean that I hated Bruno or that it didn't do exactly what it set out to do. It set out to be outrageous. It set out to offend all people of all corners of this world. It set out to bring about discussion of society and how we handle topics such as religious intolerance, homophobia, cultural differences, and sex. In short, it accomplished all of these in a way that reminds us we all take the world and ourselves way too seriously. Bruno was offensive, raw, and in your face...and that's exactly what we all expected from Cohen.

Here's the basics. Bruno is a flamboyantly gay Austrian fashion reporter who, just like Borat, seeks success and a new life in America after he gets booted from his cable show Funkyzeit(hopefully translation isn't needed) for destroying a fashion show with his Velcro suit. Once here he finds himself in more trouble which all translate into vulgar and shocking scenes of outrageous comedy. I don't want to give it away because we've all seen the previews but there are plenty of scenes featuring dildos, penises, and horrid attire (it is about a gay man ya know) that follow.

As with Borat, the tension comes from not knowing who is, or isn’t, in on the joke. Did Bruno really ask an officer of the Al Aqsa Martrys’ Brigade to kidnap him to boost popularity? Or tell the Alabama National Guard their uniforms were too “matchy-matchy”? A visit to a swingers’ party feels a little staged but the interview with the mother of a child model feels all to real when Bruno gets her to agree to have her baby lose 10 pounds for a photoshoot. Surely the "God Hates Fags" protestors Bruno encounters while chained to his man slave are real. Once again Cohen pulls out the worst in society in a way that highlights a serious issue while at the same time puts the audience in the floor with laughter. Oh, and I don't think God hates fags...but this is Bruno's spotlight; not mine.

However, and here's where my disappointment comes in, there simply wasn't enough of the aforementioned. There seemed to be more "plot" and "acting" in this installment. Normally this is a good thing but in this case the point of the film is to see the shocked faces of those that Bruno offends. Also, it seemed that Cohen relied heavily on penis jokes and vulgar sex innuendos. Ok, fine..I'm ok with that. But in this case it got old. Talking penises (Yes...talking) and dildos are funny the first time but not the other 49 times. Give the audience a little something more to talk about. Intelligent humor is always better than potty humor. We're worth it and you're better than that, Cohen. So there are my two gripes. Take it or leave it..either way this is still a film you should see if you want to spend the afternoon laughing and repeating OMG and WTF.

Look for a Rusty Trombone feature as well as a collaboration with Elton John, Snoop Dogg, Slash, Bono, and Sting. As for the rest of the film, I'll let you decide whether it is too offensive for you or not. The only caution I can give is that at times comedy turns to idiocy and you almost begin to doubt Cohen's ability. ALMOST. It's still hilariously bold and provoking. Just don't expect it to be BORAT. It's not, and as I said before it's not as funny or as well done either. You'll still laugh and you'll still like it if you're a Cohen fan. Just don't repeat my mistake and expect Borat sized laughs. And don't be jealous...Cohen's ass is hotter than most chicks in this movie. Wonder where he finds those shorts......

Monday, July 6, 2009

MegaTron=MegaDisappointment. Transformers: Revenge on the Movie Goer

Ok, so I'll admit it. I actually liked the first Transformers so I had hopes for the second installment. But, alas, I have now seen 2 very bad movies in a row. Wow. Who knew reviewing movies would actually suck from time to time? I think I may pull out my old school DVD collection just to feel better about the world.

The main issue with this film is the fact that for the first solid hour there is no real plot! We start off with the main character Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBeouf) preparing to go to college while his unbelievably hot girlfriend Makaela (Megan Fox) stays behind to work in her daddy's motorcycle garage. There's my first problem. Really? Motorcycle garage? Um, you're hot. Leave town and pose for Playboy. It feels like this could actually go somewhere for a few minutes. Then, suddenly Sam ends up on campus and all hell breaks loose. This is where the confusion starts. Things just escalate without any real reason or direction. As an audience member you start trying to figure out how we got from college to things exploding and running to Egypt!?!?! What's worse is the dialogue of the characters seems to suggest that THEY don't even know what's going on.

The other thing that really hurts this movie is the fact that there seem to be tons of charcters muddling up the script but we are supposed to only focus on 5. Bumblebee is back along with Optimus (of course), Megatron, and our two human heroes. But suddenly we are faced with welcoming 2 twin autobots who are SUPPOSED to serve as some sort of comic relief. In all honesty they are just hip hop annoyances that you almost have to have an urban dictionary to understand. Then we meet the 1,000 year old Decepticon turned good who brought back memories of Treebeard from Lord of The Rings (an actual good movie, btw). One of the worst things about this film is not being able to understand, that is HEAR, what the autobot characters are saying. Their voices are so overprocessed it is very difficult to understand their dialogue.
In fact, the movie is entirely too loud overall. It seems that director Michael Bay knew he had a weak plot so he filled it with unbearably loud explosions.

Visually it was a confusing mess as well. I almost got dizzy watching the autobots transform into whatever it was they were becoming. Everything moves so fast that you can't keep up with where the pieces are going. Many times I couldn't even tell which machine was fighting with machine. It was just a jumbled mess of loud, dizzying annoyance. All you know is now we're a car...or now we're a military tank...or now we're annoyed and falling asleep in the theatre (oh..sorry...that was ME).

This movie was entirely too long. Michael Bay spent too much time trying to develop his robots into emotional beings that an audience can connect with. The flaw with this? They're robots! Instead of meaningful dialogue it just comes off as cheesy attempts at creating an emotional link between these "beings" and their human counterparts. Also, there seemed to be alot of slow motion running. Our human friends seem to run VERY slowly out of explosions, into each other's arms, through the desert...In short, we could have ended this about 30 minutes sooner and I wouldn't have been nearly as annoyed.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a trick. Somehow it's raked in millions at the box office. My best guess is from 14 year old boys who are old enough to understand Megan Fox is hot but young enough to still have Optimus Prime on a shelf in their bedroom next to the cheetos and Dr. Pepper. Don't waste your money and if you decide to my only request is that you rent it later. At least that way you can fast forward through the bad dialogue and slow motion. Oh, and when you're done let Michael Bay redeem himself by catching The Rock...even if it's on TBS.

Cast: Shai LeBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, John Turturro, Rainn Wilson, Kevin Dunn, Julie White, Hugo Weaving

Rating: Pg-13

Monday, June 29, 2009

Big Bad Steph Says Year One Sucked

I went with high hopes. I went prepared to laugh. I went ready to laugh so hard I could spit popcorn all over the row in front of me. I left ready to spit popcorn all over Jack Black. Ok Jack...where's the genius because it's not in Year One!

Year One stars Jack Black and Michael Cera (Arrested Development, Superbad) as cavemen on the run after being banished from their tribe when Black eats fruit from the forbidden tree of knowledge. The antics are SUPPOSED to begin there but the plot never really flows or develops enough to deliver solid laughs.

Seriously..where was the "ACTING"? Jack Black was mildly humorous in scenes by himself but when paired with his sidekick (Michael Cera) there was very little chemistry. They were unbelievable as bosom buddies. I didn't feel the duo related well to each other at all. That was my major issue with this film. I maybe could have overlooked the sophomoric jokes and obvious predictable set ups if only this duo could have pulled off a convincing partnership. The age difference beetween these characters seemed odd to me. I know if I was a twenty something cave chick I wouldn't have been hanging out in the local Cougar Pond. The pairing wasn't beleivable even in that regard. I should really write a letter to the casting agent on this one.

Larry said it had a 50% chance of being funny. He was right! Basically this film gives up all the goods it has to offer in the previews and commercials. Take it from me and don't bother with the $10.00 movie ticket. Just watch the previews a couple of times and you've got the idea. The other disappointing factor is just when you think, "well...ok...maybe it was at least fun to make. Maybe the out takes will make up for what I've just endured...." they don't and you're just disappointed again.
Boo Jack Black. And it seemed like the next fun, cultish, quotable flick....

Cast: Jack Black, Michael Cera, Hank Azaria, David Cross, Olivia Wilde
Directed by: Harlold Ramis
Rating: PG-13

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Steph Says Hell Yes on The Hangover

Let's start with the basics. Title: The Hangover. Rating: R. Cast: Somewhat unknown except for the singing Mike Tyson. End Result: I think I peed a little!



Good. Now that we have that out of the way let's get started! A hangover. We've all had one. BUT, have we had one in Las Vegas? Have we had one in Vegas to the point where we wake up to a smashed room which will undoubtedly cost our credit card on file thousands of $$$? Is there an unexplained tiger in the bathroom, a buddy missing a tooth, and a buddy ....well...just plain missing? I think not! But these guys have!



The Hangover is one funny summer movie that is worth the price of admission AND the popcorn/coke. There are no huge stars to carry you through the laughs so director Todd Phillips (Old School and Starsky and Hutch) does it the old fashioned way. He relies on the cast's wonderful chemistry and great writing that is sometimes a little more than just weird. As I mentioned the cast is largely unknown. This being said, there isn't a "Personality" or "Star Ego" in the mix so these guys truly come off like just a bunch of regular joes who get into WAY too much trouble in Vegas while celebrating their best friends' last few days of bachelorhood. Along the way the bunch runs into an Asian gangster (Ken Jeong from Role Models and Knocked Up), a stripper with a heart of gold (Heather Graham), one abandoned baby, a tiger, and Mike Tyson. On top of this they find a way to lose the groom. Hmmm....let the shennanigans begin!

To be fair it's not the first go round for most of the cast. Ed Helms is recognized from his role on The Office and Bradley Cooper previously graced the big screen in films such as Wedding Crashers and Yes Man. Of course, Heather Graham...can we say YEAH BABY??? ;)
Perhaps the shining breakout star of this fim is the ever refreshing and hysterically brilliant Zach Galifianakis. The characters are established early on in the film. Helms portrays the responsible straight man of the group and Cooper is instantly recognized as the unfailing frat boy. But Galifianakis is introduced as an outsider to the group...a newbie claiming his rights to the boys club because he is the bride's brother. Viewers may expect the typical Jack Black fat boy delivery but Galifianakis turns this idea upside down with his intelligent humor and often times soft spoken and WEIRD delivery. Remember this guy's name. You WILL see him again.

The Hangover is a great summer comedy to see with your crew. The cinematoghraphy and soundtrack I would classify as average. You won't get any epic shots or sweeping violins but the humor and sometimes offbeat writing keep you involved long enough to find the laughs where you are supposed to. Stay for the end credits. They are legendary and you will get to see MORE of Mr. Galifianakis if you know what I mean. ;)

CAST: Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Heather Graham, Jeffrey Tambor, Justin Bartha, Mike Tyson, Ken Jeong

Rating: R

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Big Bad Steph Says Netflix It! (Or Don't)

It's only June and it's already in the 90s...you're sunburned, lazy, and beered out. What's a kid to do? I'll tell you what to do. Netflix the HELL out of your summer! We can't be drunk at the lake EVERY day, right? Wait, don't answer that. ;) But let's face it. We're in one hell of a recession so let me save you a few $$$ on your crappy blockbuster card. Here's what to look for and maybe a few things you've missed. Oh, and here's what NOT to look for and things you should be HAPPY you missed!

1. Paul Blart Mall Cop - (MISS IT) For my money it was NOT that funny. It's predictable and the chick love interest isn't even all that hot. I won't even give you the plot. It's basically Paul Blart (Kevin James) being a loser mall cop riding a segway. There are a few rare laughs but Kevin James is best left on the small screen doing fat guy jokes there. They don't translate well on the big screen. I say miss it. Unless you want to waste a rental fee. If you like throwing away your hard earned cash then go ahead. BUT, please get five of your fat guy buddies, a case of beer, and a playboy to look at during the scenes when you just can't take the predictability and bad writing. It's really the only way to enjoy this flop. :)
RATED PG-13

2. Taken - (GET IT) Oh yeah. I'm into this one. Every once in a while a good kick ass REVENGE movie is made and this is one of them. If you're into Liam Neeson kicking all kinds of foreign ass for the purpose of finding and freeing his daughter from the seedy sex slave industry then THIS is your movie. Neeson plays a former CIA agent who uses his years of torture experience when his daughter gets "Taken" while on vacation with her hottie blonde gf in Paris. Of course we all know that good will overcome...sorry if I just ruined the ending but along they way you get to see Neeson kill with his bare hands a la James Bond style. Now, don't get me wrong...it's not the BEST revenge flick out there (there could have been a little more graphic violence for my taste) but so far it's stayed in my top ten this rental season.
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence, disturbing thematic material, sexual content, some drug references, and language (All things Big Bad Steph really likes)

3. DEFIANCE - (GET IT) Speaking of revenge movies...this is the ultimate. Screw revenge on one person...let's get revenge on a whole group of bad guys! Inspired by a true story, this WW II drama tells of three Jewish Eastern European brothers (Daniel Craig, Liev Schreiber, and Jamie Bell) fighting to save themselves, their race, and each other while seeking to avenge the death of their family at the hands of the Nazis. Tuvia (Craig), Zus (Schreiber), and Asael (Bell) turn to the Belarussian forest for sanctuary and survival. As word spreads that there is survival opportunities with these brothers many join them and suddenly three become hundreds and survival becomes a movement for revenge and freedom from the Nazi Regime. Tuvia becomes the leader of the group and the plot takes its veiwers on an emotional roller coaster of good and evil. Based on true events, you really get attached to these characters and you WANT them to survive and find peace once more in a really difficult time of violence and darkness. We all know how the War ended but it's really worth the rental $$$ to find out how it ended for these brothers. There's some true life info at the end (as all historical movies tend to do) about their life afterward. Defiance is full of action with tons of heart, courage, and a little bit o lovin (hey, sex is the best medicine in bad conditions...or it seems that way for Daniel Craig).
Rated R for violence, language, and nudity


Releasing Soon

The International (R)
Gran Torino (R)
Strike (NR)
Body Armour (R)
Born (R)
Medea Goes to Jail (PG 13)
The Pink Panther 2 (PG 13)

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Drag Me to Hell (2009)

Drag Me to Hell is Sam Raimi at his best....BEFORE he went all "Hollywood". The film offers a Retro Raimi feel that takes you back to the glorious days of the 1980's when Evil Dead and Army of Darkness reigned the Horror scene. Of course it IS Sam Raimi so when I say horror scene what I really mean is SLAPSTICK horror! Yes, Raimi has updated his style and added some steroids to his predictable jack-in-the box scares, but there is still that good ol' chuckle factor that we haven't seen in a good horror flick in a while.


The plot is largely weak and predictable and the acting is mediocre but that's not the point. It's FUN. Christopher Young's score sets us up in the opening credits with screeching violins and creepy images of goat demons dragging innocent victims to hell throughout the ages. He continues to punch us in the gut at every turn, keeping us on edge and ready for that next shadow to appear, door to creak, light to go out...oh yeah and for pretty little Alison Lohman to get thrown across the room by some unseen force.


After the music dies down we meet Christine Brown (Lohman), a quiet and hapless blonde just trying to make it big in the boring world of banking. She's in competition for a promotion; trying to show the boss she can be tough. This tough girl attitude doesn't sit well for Mrs. Ganush (Lorna Raver) the creepiest gypsy you'll ever meet while cashing your check on payday. Ganush comes in to ask for an extension on her mortgage and is turned down by Christine. Whoops....Christine spends the rest of the film fighting off a pretty badass gypsy curse. For three days she will be tormented by an evil demon spirit until it becomes strong enough to what??? You guessed it..Drag her to hell. I must say for a frail looking old hag who can't seem to keep her teeth in her mouth - or any of her body fluids for that matter (they always seem to end up either on or IN Lohman), she fights like a champ!


Drag Me to Hell is full of cliche horror moments that have you both jumping and smiling. Full of long knowing glances, shadowy figures, one side kick fortune teller, one skeptic bumbling boyfriend (Justin Long) one dancing demon, one talking devil goat, and one Mexican Mystic (charged with banishing the curse), Drag Me provides the typical cast of characters of good and evil. As for actual scares, the best part of the film is the gross out factor due to the gratuitous amounts of goo Lohman ingests while fighting off creepy gypsy lady. From bugs and blood to mud and embalming fluid, Lohman takes it like a champ all while keeping her angelic blond sensuality in tact.


I will admit that I actually closed my eyes twice! I can honestly say that Raimi, along with one very happy foley artist, did a damn good job building suspense.


The "twist" at the end can be seen by a blind man but again..it's all in good classic horror fun. You KNOW it's coming but you still jump when it happens!


In short, Drag Me is the perfect scary summer flick. Raimi provides plenty of sucker punch scary moments complete with a little bit of fluidy gore, classic horror cinematography, and just enough giggles to get you through it. This movie is best enjoyed by an audience who knows what they're going for. Don't expect serious thrills, blood curdling screams, and unecessary titty shots. This is not THAT kind of horror film. Go for fun, a couple of scares, and a few laughs.


Oh, and see how many MAC products you spot every time Justin Long appears on screen.....





Cast: Alison Lohman, Justin Long, Lorna Raver, David Paymer